Coming Home
by InTheCompanyOfDragons
Summary: Sam's idea of home had changed a lot over the years, but with his life bringing him back towards his family, he has to re establish what coming home really means. Brotherhood AU by Ridley
1. Chapter 1

Coming Home

Jim met Mackland on the front porch of his house when he saw a typical American made rental car pull into the driveway.

"Have you heard from him?" Jim asked. Mackland shook his head.

"Nothing, I've been leaving him messages, but he never calls back and his answering machine just says to call Dean if you need help." Jim sighed, with John Winchester missing the Triad was short one member, and The Knight was a key part in making sure The Brotherhood ran smoothly. The Knight was supposed to be their warrior, the one who led the younger hunters into battle, trained them, and without him those responsibilities were falling on other older hunters with in their ranks.

"Give him some time I am sure he will come back." Jim said.

"I am afraid I do not have your faith this time Jim, we both know what he is chasing, he has been overcome with the thirst of revenge, and he is trying to keep The Brotherhood at arms length… If he isn't even talking to Dean or Caleb, he isn't going to be talking anybody. John is a good friend, and a fierce hunter, but we both know that under all that armor, he is just trying to keep the rest of us out of this fight, he cares more then you know." Jim laughed.

"Sounds like you have been studying him Scholar."

"Yeah well, we have known that man for over twenty years, he has often surprised me, but not this time, I think we knew this was coming."

"I don't deny that Mac, I guess I just always hoped he would have as much faith in us, as we do in him." Jim and Mackland went into the house, and into the Hunters Tomb. If John was going to go after the demon alone, they were going to gather all the information they could for him. Mackland paused when he heard a familiar rumble pull up the driveway, he quirked an eyebrow at Jim.

"Dean?" Jim asked.

"Sounds like it." By the time Mackland and Jim made it into the kitchen Caleb was sitting at the table with a beer, and Dean was dragging his duffle through the door.

"What are you boys doing here?" Mackland asked.

"Nice to see you too Dad." Caleb said.

"Caleb…"

"Dean called me when Johnny fell off the radar, we came to see what you guys know."

"When is the last time you heard from him?" Jim asked.

"About a three months ago I was on a hunt in New Orleans, and he was in California, next thing I know I am getting a message from him saying we are all in danger, and I haven't heard from him since. What about you? Do you know anything?" Dean questioned.

"I'm afraid we don't know much more then you boys know." Jim said. "He is after the demon that killed your mother I'm assuming, it is the only reason he would make such a clean cut from all of us, but we don't know where and we don't know why now." Dean shifted uncomfortably.

"Well… I know a little bit more… I don't know where it went for twenty two years, but it's back."

"So your Dad is on its trail? How do you know that if you can't get in contact with him?" Mackland asked.

"Because it came after me." Jim and Mackland turned around to see someone they had played a part in raising. He had gotten taller, and he had filled out, and he had dark stubble covering his jaw, but he still had the same long brown floppy hair, and soulful green eyes.

"Samuel." Jim choked out. He had not seen the boy for four years; they had not left things on the best of terms when Sam left for school. Sam had wanted someone to be on his side, and he came looking for the Pastor's support when John had kicked him out. He had felt Dean and Caleb had sided with John, Mackland had decided not to pick sides, and when the Pastor attempted to do the same, Sam felt like his entire family had turned against him. Sam hadn't spoken to the Pastor since. Jim pulled the boy into a hug, which Sam returned.

"Hey Jim." Sam whispered softly. Sam let go and gave Mackland a quick hug as well, Sam had seen Mac once at Stanford, but it had still been too long.

"Look as great as this little reunion is, we need to talk." Caleb said, sliding a beer over in Sam's direction. Sam sat down beside his brother, and Jim and Mackland joined the three younger hunters.

"What's going on?" Mackland asked gently.

"When I realized Dad was missing I went to Sammy for help." Dean said guiltily. "We went on the hunt in Jericho, Dad wasn't there, but his journal was so I knew he wasn't coming back and then when I dropped Sam back off at his apartment the demon was waiting for him."

"Did you see him?" Jim asked. Sam met his eyes, and Jim saw the heart break in them.

"No, I didn't… but my girlfriend Jessica, she did, before he toasted her on the ceiling…"

"Sam… I'm sorry…" Mackland said.

"Don't apologize to me Mac, I don't want to hear it." Sam put his hand on his forehead, and grimaced.

"Sammy? Are you okay?" Caleb asked, feeling Sam's pain.

"I have a headache… Bloody Mary is a bitch…" Jim frowned and looked at Dean.

"Yeah… turns out Bloody Mary was a real thing, so Sam got her to come after him, and we wasted her." Caleb sat up suddenly leaning forward across the table, as feelings of regret and sadness assaulted his senses.

"Hang on, Bloody Mary can only come after you if you have a secret where someone died right? Well you had no secrets for eighteen years, you were around psychics after all…" Sam glared at Caleb.

"Caleb stop digging…"

"Sam… did you… did you know something was gonna happen?" Sam stood up and got in the psychics face.

"I didn't know anything you son of a bitch."

"You didn't think anything was going to happen, but you were having nightmares, weird dreams right?" Sam backed up and looked at the men in the kitchen, except for Dean they were all averting their eyes.

"Do you guys know something I don't?" Mackland stood up in front of Sam.

"Samuel, did you see something?"

"I…. yeah… I dreamt about Jessica's death, for days before it happened, and I didn't do anything about it because I didn't believe it…" Caleb sighed, the past had finally caught up with Sam.

"You had a death vision…" Sam scoffed.

"I'm not a psychic Caleb…"

"Sam, I think there is something you should know." Jim said. "You always had a… connection to those you loved, and you were always able to sense when they were in danger, and now it appears that your abilities had developed into something more…" Sam started pacing the kitchen.

"So Sammy's psychic? Like Damien?" Dean questioned.

"Yes, he is." Mackland said.

"And you all knew? All this time?" Sam yelled. "Why didn't you tell me? I could have stopped this!"

"We always had our suspicions, but after the Wendigo attack, where you protected Caleb, we knew what was beginning to happen. Your father made us keep it from you, he hoped that if you were sheltered enough that your abilities would remain dormant." Jim said, but he knew that Sam's powers couldn't remain dormant forever, he was the Scholar elect after all, even if he didn't know it yet.

"So what? You're the Guardian, you could have overruled that decision."

"Me being the Guardian, does not over rule a father's decision when it comes to his children, I voiced my opinion on the matter, but I was not going to force your fathers hand." Sam suddenly narrowed in on Dean and Caleb.

"Did you two know?"

"I swear Sammy I didn't know!" Dean said, and looked at Caleb expecting his best friend to give the same response, but he didn't, he sat there in silence watching the youngest Winchester.

"So you knew Caleb? Really?" Sam was filled with an anger he couldn't shake, and that was beginning to eat him up inside.

"Sammy, I was ordered not to say anything, by the time I found out I was already a member of the Brotherhood, I didn't have a choice." Sam felt betrayed, his life was over, and as far as he was concerned, his family had kept him from saving the woman he loved.

"Well congratulations, you all kept this from me, now Jessica's dead, and I am home, back in this crap hole of a world you all claim to love so much… it's great to be back with my so called family, when all I ever wanted was to be free of this place. But who cares right? You all have me right where you want me." Jim stood from his chair and stood in front of Sam who had a good five inches on the Pastor.

"I get that you are mad at us, and you have every right to be, but do not act like we wanted this to happen to you Samuel. We did not know this was what was going to happen, you know better then that, and you will stand down." Sam deflated a little bit.

"I'm sorry Jim…" Jim had a nature about him, he did not have to yell to get the boys to listen, and they had always respected him. In a lot of ways the younger hunters hated messing up in front of Jim, because he never got angry with them, he was disappointed in them, which was worse.

"It's okay my boy, I understand your anger but do not let it take you over. Now, it is late, lets all go to bed and pick this up in the morning. I will do what I can to assist you."

"Sounds like a plan." Dean said. Sam, Caleb and Dean made their way up the stairs and Sam followed Dean into a familiar bedroom, while Caleb took the attaching one.

The bedroom hadn't changed much over the past four years, and Sam's side remained identical to the way he had left it. Sam tossed his duffel onto the bed and sat down, rubbing his hands over his face.

"You really need to shave Runt." Caleb said suddenly as he entered the bedroom. "I'm still having a hard time adjusting to the fact you can even grown a beard." Sam laughed half heartedly.

"I haven't had the time lately." Sam kept his eyes closed trying to get rid of the headache that he still had from three days previous. He knew the best way to get rid of it was to sleep it off, but he didn't want to sleep, whenever he closed his eyes he saw Jessica's face.

"Uhhh… Sammy?" Dean said.

"What?"

"Your nose is bleeding…" Sam swiped his finger across his face and sure enough it came away red.

"Damn it…" Sam dug through his duffel until he found a box of tissue he had bought at a gas station the last time this had happened and pinched his nose.

"Is this becoming a common occurrence?" Caleb asked. Sam shook his head.

"Just since Mary, fucking bitch… at least I'm not bleeding out of my eye balls anymore." Caleb snorted.

"Yeah it the small things." Caleb said.

"Hey Sammy? I know it's been awhile, but you know the rules." Sam quirked an eyebrow at his older brother.

"What are you talking about Dean?" Dean smiled at Sam.

"No matter how short a time we stay at Jim's, you have to unpack your bags, nobody is a guest here." Sam sighed, but said nothing. He wasn't sure about that; he didn't feel like he belonged here anymore. He followed suit as Dean unpacked his clothes, and chuckled as he pulled clothes from the drawers that had belonged to his eighteen year old self.

"Hey Dean, this might fit you." Sam through an old Zeppelin shirt out of the drawer and threw it at his brother.

"Hey, this was mine, how did you end up with it."

"I guess I borrowed it at one point, it was in the drawer." Dean laughed.

"I knew I should have gone through that stuff when you left." When Sam was done putting his clothes away, he pulled out the last item in his bag. It was a small wooden box, which he had taken out of the safe he kept in his apartment in Palo Alto, he opened it and looked at the contents.

"What's that Sam?" Caleb asked walking over to Sam's side of the room.

"It's where I kept my past…" Sam answered. Dean and Caleb looked inside the box, it contained a couple of pictures, one of Sam and Dean as kids, one of Sam, Dean and Caleb, and one of the Triad, and one other item. Sam's silver Brotherhood ring.

"I didn't think you took that with you." Dean said. Caleb knew Sam had it, because Jessica had asked him about his once when they ran into each other in a coffee shop in Sam Francisco. Sam shrugged.

"I walked away Dean, doesn't mean I forgot where I came from, no matter what you think." Dean had nothing to say to that, it was true, he had thought that Sam had forgotten who he was, and he couldn't defend it. Sam took a necklace out of his pocket, and ran it through his hands.

"Was that Jessica's?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, I bought it for her the first Christmas we spent together, I saved up for months… every spare penny I had went to this thing" The smile slipped off his face as he put the necklace into the box. "Just another memory now." Sam walked out of the bedroom and went into the bathroom to take a shower; Dean picked the box up off the bed and put it on top of the dresser, taking one more look at the silver ring that matched his, and everyone else's in their family.

"He looks like crap Deuce."

"I know, its cause he isn't sleeping."

"Nightmares, yeah I noticed over the last few nights." Dean hit the top of the dresser out of frustration.

"Damn it, I just want to help him."

"I'm afraid Captain Onehelluva Big Brother may have to take a knee on this one." Dean snorted at the old familiar nickname.

"It was easy to take a knee when he wasn't here, at least when we weren't talking I knew he was safe, but now he is right here with me, and I feel farther away from him then ever." Caleb sighed and sat down beside his friend.

"Deuce, Sam has seen a lot in his life, but he doesn't ever remember losing a close family member, not like we do… he needs some time to work through all of this, and I dunno maybe we were the lucky ones, we lost our Mom's when we were young and it brought us into this life, but Sam left and found some normalcy with Jess, and now he feels like he is being dragged back into this life… I'm not sure you can help him with that, Sammy may need to do that all by himself."

"So what do I do? I am having a hard time separating this new grown up Sam from the moody kid who always wanted to talk about the crap that was bothering him. He is shutting me out, he has never done that before."

"Just be his brother, when the time comes, I guarantee you will be the first person he comes to, just like always. But he spent four years keeping secrets from everyone around him, he just has to get used to being able to tell the truth again. I'm going to bed, I'll see you guys in the morning alright?"

"Alright, good night Damien."

The next morning the house was still quiet when Caleb woke up, but he knew that at least one person was up, he could feel the familiar anger and resentment falling off of their youngest family member. Caleb made his way downstairs. Sam was drinking coffee and typing away on his laptop.

"You know Sammy, coffee is supposed to stunt growth, but you have been drinking gallons of the stuff since you hit your teen years… it obviously didn't stunt your growth at all." Sam smirked.

"Or maybe I was supposed to be seven feet tall, would have added to the freak thing…" Caleb frowned.

"You aren't a freak Sam."

"C'mon Caleb, we're all freaks. We are supposed to be the elite of an ultra secret society destined to protect the world from evil, and now I am apparently a death vision seeing psychic like you, I am pretty sure that makes us all freaks." Caleb sat down next to Sam and pushed the laptop closed so Sam would pay attention to him.

"At least we're all freaks together kiddo, that has to count for something doesn't it?"

"Yeah I guess…"

"C'mon kid, level with me, what's going on?" Sam sighed.

"Caleb… I know what you all think about me."

"I doubt that."

"You all think I abandoned my family, everyone thinks I should have stayed and fought the good fight along side my father, and the rest of The Brotherhood. You all think I made a selfish choice when I left, I was only thinking about myself, and what I wanted."

"Well… four years ago that's exactly what I thought, because I was pissed off at you, and I didn't want things to change, but I came to realize some things over the past few years."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"I remember sitting here in this kitchen a few months after you left thinking about what an immature ass you were, and that you could never just follow orders… but I realized the only times you ever disobeyed your father, you did it to save someone's life. The night you got your ring, you disobeyed your father to rescue me and your brother… any other time you always did what you were told, after an argument sure, but you always did what you were ordered to do. So now, I've come to realize that, you weren't selfish in what you did, you deserved a shot at normal kiddo, I'm just sorry it ended the way it did." Sam swallowed as he tried to hold back tears that he refused to let fall. Winchester's didn't cry.

"I didn't mean to hurt anyone…"

"I know, and everyone here knows that too, the only thing we never understood is why you broke off contact with all of us, you had to know that we weren't going to abandon you."

"I never planned on that happening, but after what happened with my Dad I realized that if I didn't make a clean break, I wasn't gonna be able to do it."

"What do you mean Runt?"

"I knew how much I owed all of you, and because of that I wouldn't have been able to say no if anyone asked me to come back."

"We never would have asked you to do that…everyone was proud of you." Sam smiled.

"Dean would have, at first it would have been a weekend hunt, and then a week, and then a month, and I would have said yes every single time."

"It's hard to say no to him isn't it?"

"Yeah, how do you think I ended up in Jericho?"

"If Dean had have known what was going to happen… he would have left you out." Sam scoffed.

"Lets face it Caleb, I was never out. Even if Dean hadn't of shown up, that demon still would have killed Jessica, that was her destiny the second she met me, her blood is on my hands."

"Sammy… it isn't your fault. You didn't know."

"I should've, I should have known something would eventually come after me, because something always comes after us."

"So what does this mean? How long are you gonna be here?"

"As long as it takes. I'm here until that Yellow Eyed bastard is dead, and then I'll figure out where to go from there. But for now, I am gonna need your help. I got to get some kind of control over this psychic crap."

"I'll help however I can, Mac will too, but can you do me a favour?"

"What?"

"Don't shut your brother out, he just wants to help you, and he may be one of the few people in your life that understand."

"I just need some time."

"Okay, just remember you have family here, we never went anywhere."

"I know you didn't…" Sam said, and then he met Caleb's eyes with a smile. "It feels kinda good to be home."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Everyone had been researching all day, attempting to get as much information together as possible to pass on to John, but the Triad didn't seem to know as much as Sam and Dean originally thought. They knew about Yellow Eyes, and about Caleb and Sam's connection to him, but John had kept most of the information he knew a secret from the rest of the Triad and his sons. Dean and Caleb were sitting in the Hunter's Tomb with Jim and Mackland going through old hunters journals, and books trying to find any new information, while Sam, easily the best researcher they had, had fallen asleep at the table, but nobody had the heart to wake him. It was hard for the men at the table to see Sam in such pain, and they wished for the days before Sam's teenaged years where he was a happy and talkative kid.

Even after their years apart Dean was attuned to his brother, and his head snapped up the instant Sam began to shift in his sleep. Dean frowned as Sam's movement became more erratic, but he didn't wake up. The rest of the men in the room watched as Dean stood up and shook Sam's arm.

"Sammy?" Dean said gently. Sam awoke with a gasp, and held his breath until his eyes settled on Dean. "You okay?" Sam nodded, and then blushed as he realized there were others in the room.

"Sorry…" He whispered. Sam felt weak; Caleb could feel the shame leaking off the other man.

"Don't apologize kiddo, we've all had them at one point or another." Caleb said.

"Did you find anything?" Sam asked.

"Nothing we didn't already know… your father wasn't too open about the demon after he found out about…" Mackland didn't finish the sentence but everyone knew what he was saying.

"Guess I know why he didn't want me to go away to school…" Sam mumbled. Dean sighed.

"You father was scared Samuel, I may not agree with his course of action, but he only wanted you to be safe." Jim reasoned.

"My father wanted to keep me under his thumb… he was afraid of what I was going to become. Why else would he become so distant? He didn't want you to know what I was." Mackland stood and walked over to stand between Caleb and Sam.

"You know Samuel, if you really believe that, we failed you somewhere along the way, so for that I am sorry." Sam frowned and looked up at Mackland.

"What are you talking about Mac?"

"Well, if you honestly believe that any of us, who raised you and protected you, would have turned our backs on you because you were different, or because you were psychic, or because of a demonic connection you may or may not have, we have obviously failed you in a terrible way. We were all brought together because evil touched our lives, some more then others, and I thought that through all of that, you would have learned that we do not care where you come from, or what had happened to you. I mean, after all that has happened to Caleb, the things that he has been accused of, is he still your family?"

"Of course."

"With his supposed connection to Yellow Eyes do you still trust him?" Sam met Caleb's eyes.

"With my life." Sam answered honestly.

"So does your father, he trusts Caleb with you and your brothers lives, and he treats Caleb as one of his own, even with all the evil that has touched him, so what makes you think that us or your father would think anything different about you?" Sam swallowed and rubbed a hand over his face.

"You wouldn't." Sam whispered. Mackland smiled softly at the youngest boy.

"Exactly, we wouldn't. We would never turn our back on you Samuel; you are family, and whatever is coming we will help you fight it, if you just let us. But you need to let this anger go, it will not help you in the long run."

"Okay Mac."

"Good man, now me and Jim are going to go find something to make for dinner, you boys clean up in here and then come join us." Jim and Mac went back into the kitchen leaving the three younger hunters in the Tomb. Sam closed the book in front of him, and looked up to see Dean and Caleb watching him.

"What?"

"Nothing… just you okay Sammy?" Dean asked. Sam swallowed and held back his typical 'I'm fine' retort, he was so tired of being angry, sad, and depressed about what his life had become.

"I'm dealing…" Dean looked surprised, that was the closest he had gotten Sam to really talking about how he was feeling.

"Well… we are here if you want to unload or anything." Dean said, Caleb nodded from behind him.

"Wouldn't that count as a chick flick moment?" Sam asked.

"Hey look the Runt is finally catching on." Caleb said, sitting down across from the brothers. "But anything that happens in the Hunters Tomb, stays in the Hunters Tomb, so it doesn't count." Sam laughed softly.

"I'm sorry I've been such a dick lately." Sam said. "I'm just tired and frustrated but that isn't your fault, so I shouldn't be taking out on you."

"Your life had been uprooted, we don't blame you for being on edge… I just don't want you to be over taken by revenge… and that anger you got burning beneath the surface is scaring the crap out of me. You are gonna get yourself hurt."

"I know… I just I can still see her… I dream about her, and I can still smell smoke, and I saw her in Toledo… I'm having a tough time getting past this…"

"You aren't weak because you are struggling with this kiddo…" Caleb said. "Hell, I still have nightmares about the shit I saw, I never got over it."

"Me neither Sam." Dean said. "I can still smell the smoke too sometimes… it doesn't go away, but I swear you are going to get a handle on this." Sam smiled sadly at his brother.

"Just cause you say I will get a handle on this, doesn't mean it's true Dean."

"Sure it does, I'm the older which means I am always right."

"You're an idiot." Sam laughed. "C'mon, let's go eat something, I'm starving." Sam left the Hunters Tomb, and Dean smiled at his best friend.

"He's gonna be okay." Dean said.

"Well, you sound much more certain today then you did yesterday Deuce."

"That's because I just saw a glimpse of Sammy, he is still in there."

"Of course he is, we'll take care of him, just like we always do."


End file.
